A bad day in the sun

His voice
Telling me I’m nothing
Know nothing
Feel nothing
Don’t want to hear it
Tell me again
What did I feel when I was born
Tell me again
What it is to be twin
Tell me again
How bad it is to feel
Tell me again
How stupid I am
How old my ideas
How useless
My help..
And then look at me, pleading
But knock away my hand
If I dare to touch
I will not continue this
I won’t do it anymore
I once had duties
Virtues and wonder
You told me I was too old
When I was younger than you
You tore at my life
Because yours was shit
And you saw me laughing
And said whats wrong with you?
And I’m told a story of children
Making, dancing,
And I think
I’m sick
Of hearing how bad it is for you
I’m sick of hearing what terrors
Your life holds
Your life holds no terror
Except yourself
And I should know
You’re in mine too
And I invited you in
And I kept you there
When you would have left
In the mistaken belief that you were my friend
That you remembered what I said
And cared what I did
And the worst thing is
It’s probably better
This way, knowing
Than never knowing.
And sometimes you were stunning,
But I’m left reeling too often
Laughing too little